THE SOLUTION

We realized that our problem had three dimensions: physical, emotional and spiritual and that, therefore, healing would have to occur in all three.

The change of decisive attitude began when we admitted that we were unable to heal, that our addiction was more powerful than us and that we had been defeated. We attend meetings and interrupt our behaviors. For some this meant not practicing any sexual activity, alone or accompanied, in addition to abstaining from relationships. For others it meant a period of sexual abstinence with his spouse in order to recover from lust.

We discovered that we were able to stop, that not satisfying hunger did not kill us, and that sex was actually optional! The hope of freedom was born and we began to feel free! With more encouragement to continue, we renounced our obsession with sex and ourselves, which pushed us to isolation, and we turned to God and to others.

All this terrified us. We could not see what was ahead, except that others had previously followed that same path. Each new act of surrender resembled a leap into the abyss, but we gave it. And instead of killing us, the capitulation killed the obsession! We had taken a step towards the light, towards a completely new way of life.

Fraternity helped us not to feel overwhelmed and to stay alert; it was a refuge in which we could finally face ourselves. Instead of covering our emotions with compulsive sex, we begin to expose the roots of our hunger and our spiritual emptiness. And the healing began.

When faced with our shortcomings, we felt a desire to change; placing ourselves in the hands of God caused them to lose the power they had over us. For the first time we began to feel more comfortable with ourselves and with others without having to resort to our “drug”.

We tried to repair the damage we had caused, forgiving stories that had offended us and trying not to offend others. With each amendment, the weight of the guilt that tormented us was diminishing, until we could raise our heads, look the world in the eyes and breathe free.

We begin to live a positive sobriety, performing acts of love to improve our relationships with others. We were learning to give, and to the extent that we gave, we received. We got what none of those substitutes was ever able to provide. We were establishing the true Connection. We had arrived.

For The Solution:
© 1982, 1989, 2001 SA Literature.
Reprinted with permission of SA Literature.