Today’s Reflection August 20

Digging For Faith

Unless we find a connection with God, recovery eludes us. When we discover a faith that works in surrender, and start learning how to give, we get what we really needed all along; we make the only Connection that “satisfies the longing soul and fills the hungry soul with goodness.”(Recovery Continues 37). 

I spent years looking for God in the approval of parents, the admiration of friends, or the respect of teachers. I even looked for God in my marriage partner and then in the ordained ministry. I could not “find” God anywhere. 

I concluded that either God was not out there at all or was too distant to care about me. Therefore, I decided to take care of myself, be my own “god,” and not rely on anyone else. Through sexually acting out, I became “Master of the Universe.” 

My arrogant thinking and insane behavior ultimately brought me to my knees and finally to SA. As I worked Step One, I admitted I was master of nothing, and “god” only of my warped little world. In Step Two, I became more open-minded. This brought me to a place where I could make a decision to turn my will and life over to the God of my understanding in Step Three. It was in this Step that I found the Real Connection I had sought all along. No longer digging in the barren sands of sexual lust, I found a new, invigorating life filled with love, joy, and service to others. 

I am so grateful for the SA Program that led me to the only One who could bring me to sanity and satisfy my longing soul.