Today’s Reflection December 9

Surrender

To Win, I had to surrender […] (SA 21).

My sex and lust addiction robbed me of my marriage, my family, and my career. I found myself in a small apartment with a dog for company. Later, the dog died. I felt sorry for myself and was pretty angry with my Higher Power, because even though I was working the program and staying sober I did not want to be alone.

I continued making my calls, sponsoring others, attending meetings and “acting as if”, even though emotionally I felt pain would never go away. Slowly my attitude changed, and one day, in the quiet of my small apartment, I realized I could accept being alone. If I never go to live with another person, I would continue to work the program and pray for continued sobriety.

Within a week of my change in attitude, my therapist told me I no longer needed her counseling and my ex-wife invited me to move into the spare bedroom. Just that quickly I was sharing a house with the person I loved and was again involved in my children’s lives. I got a new dog.

The Steps did not magically make everything work out the way I wanted. Working the Steps allowed me to make better decisions and change my life enough that those closest to me noticed.

Higher Power, help me to be grateful for the opportunities you give me to learn surrender.